Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work: Chapter 3

Principle 1: Enhance Your Love Maps

The more you are familiar with your partner, the more intimacy happens. This is called having a love map of your partner. This helps maintain intimacy, and better prepares one to deal with stressful evens and conflict. Life-cycle transitions (=inherent stressors), such as bringing in children into the family, are also better handled as the couple are “in touch”.  Those who do not have an adequate love map experience a drop in intimacy in the couple relationship with transition to parenthood.

Tools to improve love maps

  1. Your Love Map Questionnaire: Take this self-assessment to see how much you really know your partner. For the most accurate reading of how your marriage is doing on the first principle, both of you should complete the Love Map Questionnaire by answering honestly, true or false, for each question about your partner.
  2. Exercises in the Couple's Workbook:

    1. Love-Map 20 Question Game’ - Play this game together in the spirit of laughter and gentle fun. The more you play, the more you’ll
      learn about the love maps concept and how to apply it to your own relationship.
    2. Make Your Own Love Map: Filling in info about partner:
      1. People of partner’s life -(friends, potential friends, rivals/enemies)
      2. Recent important events in partner’s life
      3. Upcoming events
      4. Partner’s current stresses
      5. Partner’s current stresses, worries
      6. Partner’s hopes, aspirations
    3. Who AM I? - Self-exploration exercise to allow you and your partner to build better love maps. This exercise looks at:
      1. My triumphs and strivings
      2. My injuries and healing
      3. My emotional world
      4. My mission and legacy
      5. Who I want to become

 There are several more self-assessments and couple's questionnaire exercises following these in the Couples Workbook.  Follow along and make time to fit them into some couple's time to build and improve a Love Map for you and your partner.

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