Good Reads for Strong Marriages
Join the Fire Wife Sisterhood or Honor Guard!
The number one comment we hear when firefighters or fire wives join a 24-7 COMMITMENT community is that they thought they were alone; the only ones feeling what they were feeling or going through the things they were going through. This is far from the truth. Join the Fire Wife Sisterhood (women) or the Honor Guard (men) for the strength and encouragement you need to get through this fire life and have a fire strong marriage.
Read our Story of Marriage Survival
I started blogging about being a fire wife right around our 10 year wedding anniversary. By then we had grown so much, through so many trials. Although not without fault and problems, we feel so much better equipped and committed to each other than other before. When I blogged about the ugly hot mess that was our marriage, I realized I'd struck a nerve and a big need in our community. Read our story in the posts below. We hope it encourages you to never stop working on your marriage.
The Power of a Praying Wife: Sometimes all you can do is pray for him. There is nothing you can say or do in some seasons. Prayer works. It carried me through many rough seas in our marriage and in our private wives group, this is one of the top recommended books when you are feeling helpless and frustrated in your marriage.
Crucial Conversations: This is not a marriage specific book but one of those "life lesson" books. Working on your marriage will mean you need to have some very important conversations. And it helps so much to have the skills to navigate those conversations. This was my "book of the year" in 2005. So many light bulbs went off. It's a must read.
Sacred Influence: This book taught me that I put way too much pressure on my husband to meet all of my needs. No wonder he is stressed and frustrated. That is not a loving thing for a wife to do. Instead we must turn towards God for the complete and perfect love you need and don't put that demand on your husband. Learn to influence him in healthy ways and not be a bitchy, nagging, complaining wife. (Did I just say that out loud? Sorry. We tell it like it is here.)
Boundaries in Marriage: This is another of those "life lesson" must reads for any aspect of your life. Boundaries with family, mother-in-laws, difficult people and even your children are important.This book focuses in on boundaries in marriage. Many people mistake the sacrificial, unconditional love associated with the Christian religion as being a doormat. Far from the truth. You must stand strong in your identity to fully love someone well. Often times this can be out of balance in a marriage when one of the partners has excessive emotional neediness or control tendencies. This is tough stuff but invaluable to working towards a healthy marriage.
The 5 Love Languages: Sometimes we are talking 2 different languages. And then our love tanks aren't being filled up. If you are frustrated because your spouse never says compassionate words to you, or never helps you with a specific chore, or you go away on vacation together and they spend all their time scurrying about working on things, it could be as simple as a disconnect on your love language. This book gives a great view on how to learn your spouses love language and best demonstrate your love for them by speaking in their language. New York Times bestselling author Dr. Gary Chapman guides couples in identifying, understanding, and speaking their spouse’s primary love language—quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch.
The Five Languages of Apology: Just as you have a different love language, you also hear and express the words and gestures of apology in a different language. New York Times best-selling author Gary Chapman teamed with counselor Jennifer Thomas on this groundbreaking study of the way we apologize, discovering that it's not just a matter of will--it's a matter of how. By helping people identify the languages of apology, this book clears the way toward healing and sustaining vital relationships. The authors detail proven techniques for giving and receiving effective apologies.
You'll learn the five languages of apology: Expressing regret - Accepting responsibility - Making restitution - Genuinely repenting - Requesting forgiveness
And read one of the all time favorite blog posts on this site: When He Doesn't Say He's Sorry
Do you want to Re-ignite the Flames in the Bedroom?
Whether you are more on the wild side or the conservative side, "12 Steamy Days with Your Firefighter" will light a fire in your bedroom for you sure. There is something for everyone.
And for those of you who may not be hearing this at your church, I'm a Jesus freak and I've read Song of Solomon. And I'm certain he wants us to be having amazingly hot sex with our husbands. If somethings broken there, time to fix it.
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"Little does my husband know, this group has made his life a lot easier."
"Sharing with everyone here has really helped reduce our family's stress level."
"It's very nice to have a community of people to talk to who really get the fire life."